Why relationships die

[rblyl (deleted)]

I am down here at the near bottom of the forum typing to myself basically, these are just THOUGHTS on this subject, not "rules", no two people are a like irregardless what we've been told in this life. I dont know if it is overall a lot are just clueless, or just lazy? How hard is it to ASK someone "what makes you happy?"..it just seems to be an assumption that the answer to that is possessed. Or is it just easier to wonder for a minute but the energy required to ask and listen to a response is just too precious to waste? Things will make me happy?..no. I work hard too and can afford things if thats what I want. Time and someones attention, or a thoughtful word mean a lot too-not just during commercial break. Men..if you have a woman and you guys are sitting around watching the same stuff, and you've spoken maybe 20 words that day, but there she is sitting there so she must be okay with it right? Wrong..take my word she is probably off somewhere in her head thinking about another life, shes dancing, laughing and running somewhere else in her mind..she's beautiful somewhere. Some complain.."well she dosent take care of hereself like she used to!" Maybe you stopped noticing so she figures why make the effort? Yeah..I know men have thier complaints as well about us, but I can only speak from the life experience of a woman. It's not a contest, who has it worse. I just think so much time and life is wasted..this is all we got-this is our time (even if one believes in another life after this..who cares-we wont remember now in our next "incarnation" anyway most likely) this is life NOW ..why not make the effort to love passonately and live a little more out loud? It's a thought anyway.

[jaderivers]

`IMO, imbalance is what sends a relationship to the guillotine. Each person is in a constant state of motion/growth with changing desires, needs, aspirations, expectations, ect. Its like a dance. The tempo changes suddenly and at first a couple might need a minute to adjust with each others rhythm. But sometimes, the change is fatal to the relationship. If they can't adjust to one another's motion then eventually those little pet peeves and quirks will start to take over the center stage.

I think being able to flow with one another in constant motion is important. That would mean being perceptive, communicating, not making assumptions, not taking things personally.

[rblyl (deleted)]

`This is SO true!... the not making assumptions or taking things personally is a big one too. (I am not a good mind reader at all, never have been...and I havent met a good one yet either.)

[kaskiyeh (deleted)]

`I can not read minds, but I can zero in on some peoples character or lack of..

[jaderivers]

`True.. I think eventually those true colors do come out no matter how sweet the talker.

[trubblemaka (deleted)]

`

[rblyl (deleted)]

` I am always glossing over or making excuses for what I dont want to see.......I have just been only wanting always to think everyone is basically GOOD contrary to the wisdom of others, or what is plainly observed. ..but a snake bites cause its a snake (or whatever how that goes!) that saying..

p/s: uh..so Trubble does that mean you have your own psychic line we can call now????lol!

[rblyl (deleted)]

`1-900-psy-c u up

lol!!!

[trubblemaka (deleted)]

`as a matter of fact i do...its 411

[jaderivers]

`lol.. I dialed that number earlier and they didn't say nothing about knowing a Trubble.. LOL

[trubblemaka (deleted)]

`dammit!

[jaderivers]

`Don't trip.. 911 knew you! hehe

[emme2009 (deleted)]

`There are different reasons why relationships die -- it depends on the "season" (where the two people are at with their lives), how they communicate (or don't), what their needs are (and if they're being met), and so on.. Some relationships partially die, running on half a tank of gas, for the sake of their spouse (who might be ill), or their children (who might be small), but regardless, I think it's best to approach relationships as if they themselves are living things, separate and apart from the individuals. Sometimes, you inadvertently starve a relationship or crowd it .. and sometimes, you just need to let it be to find it's own way.

[seanachi]

`The Flame of Love in a relationship sizzles to a meager spark
because there is not enough 'care' for your partner, over the
"I" of Self.
Giving consideration & attention on a consistent basis goes a
long way to keeping the endearment and relational balance
flowing.
Respect to your one & only is absolute in a relationship.
A deep sharing of emotional/physical intimacy is essential;
the bond and unity grows like a flower in full sun when you
take time to be with each other exclusively as romantic and
sexual mates - spice it up, use imagination to make every
encounter fresh and alive with the love sentiment. This is
not so difficult if you love your *other* as yourself!
The Celts have a saying, ""Mo chuisle mo chroí",
which holds the 'I love you' sentiment... it says it
all~and translates to "My pulse of my heart".